how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
