You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
