quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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