Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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