Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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