apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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