For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
