I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
