Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
