Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
