When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
