you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
