Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
