Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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