I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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