Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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