My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
