I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
