I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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