she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
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YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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