I just saw a hot homeless man
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize