Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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