The maid of honor just puked.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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