i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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