My Higher Power is John Stamos
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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