yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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