I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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