you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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