I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
