White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
