There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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