these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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