I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize