where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
