by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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