11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
