the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
