Kiss
Puke
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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