Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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