does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
