The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it glows. i had to have it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
