I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
