And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
