Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
