i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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