i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
