I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
