You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
