o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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