I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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