I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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