I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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