xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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