His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize