everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
