you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
