I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
