Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
