she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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